After the last bite of my sandwich, the last picture taken, text sent, Instagram photo posted, journal-entry written and read…I finally…sit…still.
And I am overwhelmed.
The expanse of the slate-colored bay meeting the distant line of trees and textured sky surround me. I feel the mystery of the depth, width, and fullness of the water; the unlimited height and space of the sky. Somehow, like a wardrobe to Narnia, it opens a door in my heart, a passage-way to a Divine Friend so incomprehensible and yet somehow so near.
Suddenly, words pour out into the salty wind:
“God…You’re so big!”
Awe steals my vocabulary, and I can’t think of anything better to say than those four words, so I keep repeating them until quiet tears and silent worship replace all words for awhile. I sit still in the reality and beauty of God’s big-ness.
I wonder at how God’s thoughts,
are so much bigger than I can comprehend.
And that is exquisitely unnerving and comforting at the same time. My heart is enlarged; I can breathe more deeply in faith, relax in more fully trusting Him.
Suddenly, I want to share everything on my heart with Jesus. It’s like seeing an old friend for the first time in a really, really long time. He’s been there all along, but I wasn’t looking, I wasn’t listening. I didn’t have time.
I struggle with words at first, but I feel free to take my time. I realize again…He has time. He has plenty of time, and it’s me who’s always walking away from that time because of so many things that don’t seem very important right now. So I smile into the timelessness and begin to unburden my soul, digging out buried worries and heavy thoughts and tossing them into the fathomless depths of God’s heart. He takes them, and I am lighter.
But much, much, much too soon, the tide rolls in and the wave-splashes and rain-sprinkles push me back from the fullness of the moment. I stand up and linger on the rocks a little longer, feeling His embrace in the wind and tiny drops of rain.
As I turn my back to the expanse of sea and sky, I thank God that He is too big for me to understand or exhaust.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” – Is. 55:8,9